bitch mode

i had the most bitch move pulled on me just yesterday. you wouldn't believe it even if you were there. so here's a little context. i've been living with my roommate for a year and a half. back in september his brother gets fired from his new york job and somehow is able to weasel his way back into his company by working in chicago under the big boss. so he comes out and stays with us. no big deal. i figure its my roommates brother. the kid is tolerable the first few months, even chips in a bit for rent. cooks food now and then for all three of us. as the months wear on though, the kid decides he's fucking king of the hill and feels like it's within his rights to order me around the house.

so yesterday is president's day. i sleep in because i get the day off. i wake up around 1pm-ish and walk out into the living room where the kid stays. first thing he says to me isn't hello. it isn't good morning. it isn't good afternoon. it's 'go take out the garbage.' dude. are you out of your fucking mind? you're living in my apartment and you're telling what to do? i tell him to go fuck himself. in response he threatens to dump the garbage on my bed.

i go about my day as i would any day off. i go take care of some errands. im out for probably an hour or so. i come back. and guess what this kid did while i was gone. he took the garbage can of rotting garbage, throws it in my room and turns the heat in the apartment up past 90 degrees. are you out of your fucking mind? i confront the kid about it and he doesn't apologize. all he says - and this is his go to - is that im soft. he won't say anything except that im soft.

guess how old this kid is? safe guesses would put him in the 18 to 22 range. maybe younger based on the shit he pulled. either way you'd be wrong. this kid is fucking 27! 27 years old and he's pulling shit a 14 year old would call lame. fucking unbelievable. only consolation i have is the kid convinced his baby bro to ditch me in the apartment and the two are moving out in two weeks. i gotta get him back. maybe tie all his shoe laces together?