in newww yorrrk

went on a mini vaycay down to nyc this past weekend with one of my buddies from home to visit another friend from home. i'm surprised we made it considering we were trying to get down there on the front end of a small blizzard but our bus driver came through. i guess bus pilot school really paid off.

i'm not sure if any of you have tried walking outside when there's a blizzard out. don't. it's not worth it. you will never win. the four blocks from where we hopped off the mta to the apartment was absolutely miserable. i couldn't feel my face and there was nowhere to take shelter. i just felt confused and wanted it to end.

the original plan after we got to the apartment was to head out to an open bar nearby. i'll be honest though. i've never been a huge fan of open bars. you either leave and want to cough up your guts or you feel like an asshole for paying $35 for two bud lights. its a lose lose. lucky for me it didn't pan out that way. instead we went to a bar across the street. positives: no cover. negatives: reeked of vomit. hey you can't win everything.

i ended up chatting with this adorable girl working at the bar. she was doing the whole sign people up for a contest to win drinks thing. it's ridiculous how much information you have to give. they ask for your name, your phone number, your email address, the first school you attended, your mother's maiden name and a whole lot more nonsensical bullshit. i figure after all that effort i should at least come away with some sort of prize like a stuffed animal or something.

back to the girlie though. she ended up sharing her life story with me throughout the night. her job at the bar was one of three jobs she had. she just turned 20. she works a job at a pet store. she lives in connecticut. she's still in school. she takes delivery orders at an italian restaurant. she wants to be an actress in hollywood. wow. sensory overload.

i couldn't deny how cute and huggable she was though so i ended up getting her number and i texted her the next day: 'hey megan. its your best friend from the bar last night. if you remember my name you're invited to come out with me and my buddies tonight :)'

no response. fuck. maybe i came on too strong.

night and day

im sure every guy has had this experience before. you know that girl you knew in college? she was a cool chick, you guys hung out sometimes, but looks-wise she was pretty average. and then you don't talk to her for a few years and then you're on facebook being a creeper and you see her update pop up and you say to yourself 'why not? let's see what jenna's been up to.' and you look through jenna's glamour shots and suddenly jenna's much hotter than you remember. yeah. that's EXACTLY what happened to me today. here's a before and after for those of you who are in the mood to judge.

undergrad days

post undergrad

in hindsight, she probably looked a bit better than susan boyle.

starting off with a strong scent of asshole

the title for this post sounded a lot better before i typed it out.

anyways. welcome. this is my blog. its a bit on the barren side as of right now but i'm sure i can beef it up a bit over the next couple months. this will be an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and biased opinions. i probably will talk shit about most anything and everything so hopefully the people i talk shit about don't frequent my blog.

i'm going to kick it off with a tale from last night. i haven't been out much for the last few months. i'll get into why in a later post. but my roommate and i headed to a spot in chicago, joe's bar. cool place. first time there. they have a ridiculous deal on tuesdays where they sell $2 pitchers of beer. you read that right. $2. they definitely cater to my crowd: the type that don't make much moolah.

we meet up with one of my buddies from undergrad and one of his friends. its a bit empty early on in the night and i think the severely negative temperature might have something to do with it. it picks up over the next few hours and we head to the back room. side note: this place is huge. it's probably two or three times the size of your typical college bar.

i'm going to cut out the bullshit and get to the meaty part of the story. i see one of the girls that is working there. gorgeous girl. brunette. heavy on the eyeshadow. cute as hell. definitely my type. i dive in head first and start to chat her up. my genius move is to rag on her for not dressing up festively like the 95 other assholes in the room wearing ugly sweaters and santa hats. i can tell she's into me but i let her go after a bit because she's working. im so considerate.

she's back a few minutes later and we pick up where we left off. i decide to take the leap of faith after some banter and ask for her number. guess what? boyfriend. i called bullshit right away. i told her i've heard it far too many times for it to be true. she giggles and goes to drop off a pitcher.

she's gone for a bit but when she makes it back i just give her this look. the 'i still think you're full of shit' look. she comes over and is like 'whaaat' in that high pitched voice that only girls can do. i told her straight up, 'i don't believe you have a boyfriend.' her response? she pulls out her phone and shows me the background. it's a picture of her and her alleged boyfriend arm in arm.

fuck. night over.