team nurses

you know what i noticed? when you're sweet talking a girl out at a bar, 4 times out of 5 she is studying to be a nurse or she works in an occupation related to health care. why is that? i have two explanations. the first is that girls who want to do something with their lives aren't usually the ones who are out at a sports bar on a tuesday. instead they're at home with the paperwork for their next project. my second explanation is, cute girls who have cruised for most of their life on their looks finally get a dose of reality. they realize that short of marrying a rich older man, they may very well have to do something to support themselves. so here's my follow up question? why are the nurses i see never the hot ones that are going through nursing school. based on past experience, my nurses average a strong 55 in terms of age. am i just going to all the wrong hospitals? i guess i'll find out...googling all hospitals within 50 miles

al naturale ego booster

i've figured out why i enjoy watching jersey shore so much. at first glance, jersey shore really isn't a great show. it's like a poor man's real world, very niche market. but to some extent there is mass appeal in the sense that all of us at one point or another acted like idiots and drank more than we probably should have. and therein lies my attraction to the drug that is jersey shore.

put plainly, i enjoy watching jersey shore because i feel better about myself after watching the show. the people on the show do stupid shit day in and day out. which isn't bad. i can even see myself doing stuff like that...in college. i found out that mike and pauly d are 27 and 28 respectively. wow. i am so glad i will not be mike in 3 years.

i'd like to reference a routine that mike and pauly have observed religiously from day 1: gym, tan, laundary. yes. it is as dumb as it sounds. these kids hit the gym for several hours a day, follow that up with a session at that salon and pick up their dry cleaning. good for them. at this point in their life, if this is the culmination of close to 30 years of living, these kids are going to be forgotten by the time the jersey shore is over.

and let me air out a few more comments and thoughts. we'll do it rapid fire because there really is no need to expand. snooki is growing on me. vinny is a normal kid i could kick it with. ronnie is a good dude. sam is the biggest drama queen i have ever met. if you sneeze in her presence she will hold it against you.

haro prease

no that's not a spelling error. i just bought an xbox live membership from amazon for a reasonable $34.99. i cannot wait to get my halo 3 on. i get it. not my best investment if im trying to meet people. but you can't beat low budget fun at $34.99 per year. fuck you social life

funny video even if you don't play the game.

snooki vs the mummy

i'd like to take a moment to spotlight the hottest reality tv star out there today. hailing from poughkeepsie, new york. she's everyone's favorite guidette (this cannot be a real word. i have trouble accepting guido as a word.) yes, i am talking about the eyesore best known as snooki.

anyone who watches tmz every day for several hours knows who this girl is because she is notorious for being the girl who was clocked by brad ferro, a gym teacher from north queens. i don't know what the guy was thinking but let's be perfectly honest. he isn't any worse off now that he's in jail. i mean he 's a gym teacher.

here's the hot clip posted on the huffington post. mtv apparently chose not to air it.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/12/10/jersey-shore-girl-punched_n_388203.html

that business looked like it hurt. i remember watching a video in slow mo and even in slow mo she got hit pretty hard. you know, it's hard not to feel bad for the girl but she is kind of mouthy. i wouldn't hit her. but i'd find the butchest girl in the bar to sock it to her.

because i like kicking people while they're down, it looks like all of those sessions at the tanning salon has caused her skin to age 10 times faster than normal human beings. she reminds me of what a mummy would look like...if the mummy was a bitch and wasn't fun to hang out with.

snooki

the mummy

she'll get there. give her until age 25.

on a happy note, i would bang the shit out of jwoww. hasaa

trendsetting

i am happy to announce i am officially starting the trend of wearing aviator hats in the city of chicago. so 3 to 6 months from now when i have every jack, sally and sam wearing these deals, you will know the source of the trend. not only are these dizs stylish, they keep my large head warm during the cold chicago winters. go out and purchase your own.

on a side note, i am pronouncing myself the blog father amongst my friends. contrary to popular belief, our friends over at 'everydayisdipsetxmas' did not start the blogging trend among our circle of blogs. i had one dating back to '07. that is all. the blog father has spoken.